hello everybody.
i'm here on time ,just to keep my promise...and here you go:

No:1

Tan : when we get married ,Iwant to share all your worries,troubles and lighten your burden.
Tom: it's very kind of you, darling,but I don't have any worries or troubles.
Tan:m Well that's because we aren't married yet.

No:2
Wife:"what's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?
husband:"golfing with friends ,my dear."
wife:" what? at 2 a.m.?!.
husband:yes,we used night clubs....


No-3
John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. One day,John suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool. David jumped in and saved him,and the medical director came to know of his heroic act..
He immediately order David to be discharged from the Mental hospital... as he is OK.
Dr: we have good news and bad news for you ,David.The good news is that we are going to discharge you because you have regained your senses, since you are able to jump in and save another patient , you are now a normal person.
The bad news is that , the patient Mr .John, whom you have saved , hung himself in the toilet, and died.
David: Doctor, he didn't hang himself . I hung him there to dry....

No-4
A newly married man asked his wife , 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey " the woman replied sweetly,
"I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU THE FORTUNE..

:No-5
:"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roomate.
"horrible" the roomate answered."he showed up his 1932 RollsRoyce"
"WooW! that's very expensive car . What's so bad about that?."
"He is the original owner."!the roomate replied!!!!!!!!!!:



I think that's enought for today. I have no intention to kill any one ............................laughing