Engineers
>Understanding Engineers- Take One
>Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when
>one
>said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
>
>The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday,
>minding
>my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw
>it on
>the ground, took off her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
>
>The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the
>clothes
>probably wouldn't have fitted you anyways."
>
>
>*Understanding Engineers-Take Two
>*
>
>To the optimist, the glass is half full.
>
>To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
>
>To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
>
>
>*Understanding Engineers- Take Three *
>
>
>A
>priest, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
>particularly slow gorup of golfers.
>
>The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We've been waiting 15
>minutes!"
>
>
>The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept
>golfers!"
>
>The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper, let's ask him."
>
>He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with the group ahead of us?
>They're
>rather slow aren't they?"
>
>The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire
>fighters.
>They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so
>we
>always let them play for free anytime."
>
>The group fell silent for a moment.
>
>The priest said, 'That's so sad. I think I will say a special
>prayer for
>them tonight."
>
>The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to
>contact my ophthalmologist
>colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
>
>The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
>
>
>*Understanding Engineers- Take Four
>*
>
>What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil
>engineers?
>
>Mechs build weapons and civs build targets.
>
>
>*Understanding Engineers- Take Five *
>**
>
>The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
>
>The graduate with an engineering degree asks, 'How does it work?"
>
>The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it
>cost?"
>
>The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with
>that?"
>
>
>*Understanding Engineers- Take Six
>*
>
>Four engineering students were gathered together discussing the
>possible
>designers of the human body.
>
>One said, "It was a mechanical
>engineer, just look at all the joints."
>
>Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous
>system has
>many thousands of electrical connections."
>
>The third said, "It was obviously a chemical engineer, just think
>about all
>the reactions taking place each second in the body."
>
>The last one said, "You're all wrong, it had to have been a civil
>engineer.
>Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational
>area?"
>
>
>*Understanding Engineers- Take Seven *
>
>
>Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
>Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
>features
>yet.
>
>
>*Understanding Engineers- Take Eight
>*
>
>An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to
>him and
>said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
>
>He
>bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
>
>The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back
>into a
>beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
>
>The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and
>returned it
>to his pocket.
>
>The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
>princess,
>I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
>
>Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back
>into his
>pocket.
>
>Finally, exasperated the frog asked, "What is the matter with you?
>I've
>told you that I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you
>for one
>week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
>
>The engineer said, 'Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
>girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
>
>
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